Death In My Family

My 85 year old Mother, Dorothy Jane "Dot" Sargent McMillin, passed away this week. Heart attack with too much damage to repair. She was born October 14, 1921 and died August 6, 2007.

Her obituary in the Catahoula News Booster read:

Dorothy Jane "Dot" McMillin (85) of Harrisonburg, Louisiana, died Monday, August 6, 2007, in Alexandria, Louisiana.

She was predeceased by her parents, Edward Joseph Sargent (owner and publisher of the Catahoula News) and Nellie Huff Sargent, her husband, Leroy McMillin, Sr.; and her daughter, Tommie McMillin Oxley.

She is survived by her son, Leroy McMillin, Jr. and wife, Judy; Charles Edward McMillin; Billy Joe McMillin, and his wife, Charlotte; grandchildren, Tracye Oxley, Michael Oxley, Hope McMillin, Summer McMillin and Kelli Freemen; 5 great-grandchildren and a number of nieces and nephews; and a host of dear friends.

Loved and respected by the entire Harrisonburg community, Dot was a life-long resident of Harrisonburg where she was involved in arts and crafts, ceramics, puppet shows, had a great love of music, and was an enthusiastic cook. Visitation will be at St. Gerard's Catholic Church in Jonesville on Thursday, August 9th, 9:00 - 11:00 a.m., followed by a mass at 11:00 a.m.

Contributions to a charity of your choice would be appreciated by the family in lieu of flowers.

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What the obituary did not say is that she was a free spirit for most of her life. She longed to go to exciting places and do exciting things. Perhaps now she can do just that. If so, Heaven would be a much happier place for all.

We got to see and talk to her before she passed on. Although I'm sad, I'm also joyful that she lived a long time. I'm also pleased that she avoided the two things she dreaded most: slowly dying of cancer and slowly dying in a nursing home. She is surely Up There looking down saying she won on those two points.

Her last three years were difficult but she didn't complain. And she was clear-headed enough to repeatedly express her wishes to be cremated and her ashes distributed by my father's grave, her parent's graves and her aunt's grave (the person who raised her from birth after her mother died).

There was a gathering of relatives and friends at her beloved Catholic Church in Jonesville, Louisiana. We laughed and cried together, all expressing a loss that can never be replaced. The Priest held Mass and spoke of her as if he had known her all his life even though it was a few fleeting moments when he took Communion to her at home. All of this was followed by the traditional meal for all those attending the services. People far and wide brought food and flowers and photos and memories to be shared by all.

I saw people I had grown up with but had not seen for thirty or more years. We all talked like nothing had changed knowing full well that our accumulated ailments and wrinkles alone presented a more truthful expression of our unstoppable aging process. It was fun talking to them and in many ways it reflected their belief that I'm just temporarily away from home.

As per her request, she was immediately cremated and her ashes distributed among the graves of my father, Leroy Lamar McMillin, Sr., her father and mother, Edward Joseph and Nellie Irene Sargent, and her aunt, Fannie Sargent, who raised her from birth.

I had the good fortune to have my wife, Judy, by my side the entire time. She was my strength when I needed it the most.

And so ends another chapter in my life.